Rant by greg kolafa: Ugly cars and other things

Ugly cars and other things

8/3/00 6:53 PM - Has anyone else looked at the Pontiac Aztek? "Quite possibly the most versatile vehicle on the planet" my ass. Try "Most definitely the most butt fucking ugly thing ever created by man" Oh good lord that thing is utterly hideous to look at. It looks so bad in the commercials that I went to the dealer to see if it looked better in real life. What I found out was that it is even MORE hideously disfigured than I thought a vehicle could be. To top off it's grotesque shape is the vastly overrated versatility. I did some checking and found out that this thing is a freaking Pontiac Montana with psuedo tough bodywork. It can't go off road worth a damn(4wd not even available yet), doesn't handle very well at all (the Outback, Audi Allroad etc. are good examples of hybrid vehicles that handle great and can outperform the Aztek in every category) and isn't really that roomy. Who the hell cares if you get a neato cooler and an option for a tent. Might as well get the Montana minivan if you're thinking about getting that ass ugly Aztek. And Rojo's restaurant style salsa is the best. And don't drive while talking on your cel phone please. It pisses me off. And my hair is back now. - greg kolafa

8/3/00 9:53 PM
HOLY SHEEP SHIT!!!!!!! It looks like a Honda Hybrid got nailed up the tail pipe by a Mercedes SUV. My momma didn't have kids that fuckin ugly!!! I had a hard time accepting a "sports utility wagon", but broke down and traded my Nissan 4x4 and got an AWD Subaru (not an outback, but yes damn it, a wagon). You could not pay me enough to drive that thing around. What is ol' GM comming to??? Congrats on the hair return, and please don't drive while talking on your cell phone, ANYONE!!! In Oregon you can now push cars into the Willamette River for such an offence. Well, not really, but don't test me. :)-~~~ - Arron Martinez
8/4/00 6:10 AM
The worst thing since the AMC Eagle! - Matthew Waterworth
8/4/00 8:48 AM
I'm so with you on that Greg, damn ugly. I don't think it's far to compare it to such things as any Subaru or especially the Audi Allroad. I mean, come on the Audi is possibly the coolest car ever made, as far as hybid funky gizmo cars go.

Matt, at least you could get the Eagle in 4WD, unlike the Aztek. - Shawn McFadden
8/4/00 9:05 AM
Point taken, but don't forget my point, Butt Ugly! - Matthew Waterworth
8/4/00 10:41 AM
Hey! I LIKED my mom's AMC Eagle! It's better than that stupid Rav4 that's she's got now. That was a kickass car. It went EVERYWHERE. Never got stuck. Yeah, but that Aztek thing is horrid. Doesn't Isuzu have some equally horrid thing? I saw a black one on Sunrise. Here it is...the VehiCROSS. Bleah. - Rachel Stuart
8/4/00 11:38 AM
I think the VehiCROSS is actually kind of cool. At least it has real 4WD and plenty of power. - Shawn McFadden
8/4/00 12:58 PM
....what is with the crazy styling thigs that are going on these days? I really don't like what the American car company's are doing, Have you seen the Ford Echo, center mounted guages? What purpose does that possible serve? And now there is just a big empty spot behind the steering wheel, as if that car wasn't ugly enough. I have no problem with innovative new designs, but I hate these types of designs that are just being different for the sake of being different..And another car I really hate, I don't know if this is just a so. cal phenomenon but those damn Chrystler PT cruiser things, who the hell is buying these things? I also find the Chrystler Seabring convertible really obnoxious, the same type of TACKY people that bought Lebaron's are now buying these things, the same type of people that put wreaths on the grill of their SUV's... God i`m angry.. - Rashmi
8/4/00 1:11 PM
I like wreaths on the grill of SUV's and all other cars for that matter. But, I am a Christmas freak! - Cyndie Meyer
8/4/00 1:19 PM
Ah, center mount guages, SUPER LAZY- Those damn car companies that sell cars that drive on either side of the road. To cheap to have seperate dash assemblies so you easily see you speed, depending on which country you drive in. "Hey, lets put them in the middle! It'll be cool." Bastards!!!!!! - Arron Martinez
8/4/00 1:23 PM
..It's so useless, and I really don't like everyone in the car being able to tell exactly how fast I`m going, I like to keep that a secret.. - Rashmi
8/4/00 1:27 PM
It could save a life. I know my wife has come close to a heart attack when she relizes how fast we're cruisin' - Arron Martinez
8/4/00 3:26 PM
The Echo is a Toyota, not a Ford, and oddly enough, I don't think it is sold anywhere that is tight hand drive. I thought the cost saving is why they did it too, but last I checked it was a left hand drive only model. - Shawn McFadden
8/4/00 6:03 PM
As for the PT Cruiser, I can't believe the balls of some of these dealers. Up at the Portland area dealers they blatantly tell you that they are selling for 30K. 30K! The thing has a base price of 16k and MSRP tops out around 23K, but since people are buying them in droves anyway, the dealers do what they do best. Fuck people royally. - greg kolafa
8/4/00 6:44 PM
I was thinking recently how much money I have spent in my less than four years as a licensed driver on cars. This includes gasoline, the actual car itself, insurance, performance mods, and regular maintenance like oil changes and stuff. My total is well over $30k. This is $7500 a year just to drive a motor vehicle! Well I am now riding my bike to work more often than I am driving and it feels good. I am trying to resist the "american way" which says that everybody must have a car in order to get anywhere. In other countries people ride bikes or use public transportation and having a car is considered a privilege and almost a luxury instead of a necessity. Now I still drive to do stuff like grocery shopping but I now have an alternative way to get to work which is where I put most of the miles on my car. Let me tell you also that it is nice to have a junker for a car. I pay lower insurance, buy cheaper gas, and I use less gas per mile I drive. Also I don't have to worry as much about people such as those who stole the rims off the SUV which was parked in my apartment complex. They left the vehicle just sitting on its rotors! So basically what I'm trying to say is that by having a POS car and only driving it when I really need to I am saving a lot of money and headache. Then again there are days when I sorely miss the old RX-7 ... - ben weir
8/6/00 9:30 AM
I too figured there was no way this thing could be any uglier in reality than it looks in the ads. However, at Arden Fair Mall yesterday, someone had one inside the mall as a give away, and I was shocked to discover the same reality as Greg! This thing is undescribably lumpy and gross. From the side it kinda looks like a mutant mid-80's Pontiac Sunbird hatchback. From the back it looks just like a chubby 1990 Honda CRX. Suffice it to say: ugly. - Andrew Lillie

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