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Andrew Lillie's profile

Member Since: May 24th 1999 Number of rants: 187 Email this ranter Visit webpage See gift list

Bio: I know all. I see all. I am all.

• March 17th 2010, 6:29 PM

  ...Inside - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• March 17th 2009, 10:34 AM

  McFadden strikes again. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• March 17th 2008, 2:01 PM

  It's been 2 1/2 months since you last heard from McFadden. Perhaps you thought they were slacking. Maybe you thought they'd forgotten about you. Au contraire!
  McFadden was not only spending February doing another RPM Challenge album-in-a-month, but were also stockpiling some previous output in order to drop it all on you at once.
  
  So, run on over to the McFadden site and get your fill! - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• December 30th 2007, 8:15 PM

  You want more McFadden music before 2007 is over?
  You got it! - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• December 11th 2007, 1:24 PM

  Enjoy the last two weeks of your holiday season with this Christmas classic over four years in the making!
  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Santa! - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• October 23rd 2007, 11:23 AM

  I'm pretty sure today is Shawn's birthday. If so, Happy Birthday, Shawnny Shawn.
  If not, tough luck. - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• March 17th 2007, 10:59 PM

  McFadden, Sactown's finest possibly-Irish music group are back just in time for (the last few minutes of) St. Patrick's Day with not one, but _two_ releases.
  Get the full-length 37: The End of Silence, or for those incapable of listening to more than 20 minutes of music, get 27: The Silence E.P.. Or, get 'em both!
  And, you can get high quality sleeve and label images for 27 or 37 and burn your own copy (the official physical release is strictly limited to an edition of 10 each, and chances are they're already spoken for). - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• January 12th 2007, 2:32 PM

  So, its time once again for me to ask: does anyone care if BigDis goes away? Or, at least, this form of BigDis. To (perhaps) be replaced by something else hopefully interesting?
  Are there any parts of BigDis that you still use on a regular basis?
  Please, for the love of Pete, sound off on this. Silence will be interepreted by Rob and I as an implicit "OK" to tear things down. - View/Add Comments (8 so far)

• March 31st 2006, 9:11 AM

  Alison Jean Lillie was born at 4:07am (PST) today, measuring 21.25" long, and weighing 10lbs 6oz.
  
  Mother and daughter are currently resting comfortably at the hospital. - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• November 30th 2005, 12:45 PM

  So, it appears we'll be having a girl(!) baby.
  As last time... more here. - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• September 29th 2005, 1:58 PM

  baby!
  More here. - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• April 25th 2005, 11:41 AM

  I dunno about anyone else, but the similarities between these two have me a bit disturbed. - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• December 31st 2004, 10:49 AM

  Birthday shouts to my "little" brother who turns 30(!) today.
  Damn, I'm old. - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• June 21st 2004, 9:29 AM

  This morning, SpaceShipOne became the first privately-funded manned spacecraft. Being a bit of an aerospace enthusiast, I just wanted to give a shout out to all at Scaled Composites for their historic achievement. Details here and here (amongst other places, I'm sure). - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• April 7th 2004, 5:18 PM

  Well, since no one else saw fit to bother*, I'm going to go ahead and be an egotistical bastard and give myself a birthday shout-out 3 days after the fact. Happy Birthday, Me! You're 31 years old now. No more even pretending that you're just barely not in your 20's.
  
  
  

  *Dawnna is excused from this as she was in London with me, and we didn't bother to spend much time online while we were there.

  - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• March 12th 2004, 8:21 AM

  Hi kids, not even a week ago, I presented the updated State Game to you.
  Yet, I'm already back with another new feature. Now you can be the Big Dis Messenger of Death!
  
  "What", you say? "Couldn't I already be the Big Dis Messenger of Death by simply posting about the death of someone as a rant?"
  Well, of course. But, what if you wanted to post about someone's death without wasting your ability to have a rant on the front page at the same time? And, wouldn't it be cool to have a big giant death's head to signal that your post was about someone's death? (And, isn't it a bit disrepectful of me to be so glib about what is essentially reporting on something that probably makes many people quite sad?)
  
  The answer to all these questions is "Yes"! (Well, actually it isn't quite, but whatever). Now, you can submit death messages as the official Big Dis Messenger of Death, by simply going here.
  You can also find this linked on the front page as "Add a MoD". - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• March 6th 2004, 9:17 AM

  Ok, so its not new, and its barely improved. Nevertheless, I've finally added a few requested features and enhancements to The State Game.
  Primarily, they are:
  - Added Alaska and Hawaii
  - Fixed the problem where you map image would not appear to update after clicking on a state
  - Added a tally of the total area occupied by the states you've visited, and added the ability to sort the leader board by area.
  
  Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know if you find any new problems or features you want added. It'll probably only take me another year to get off my ass and do them. - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• February 9th 2004, 10:29 AM

  OK, so perhaps I'm just being an old softy. Or, maybe I'm romanticizing things in the haze of my memory. But, I have this very fond picture in my mind of a time when Disney wasn't the evil, soul-less, morally ambiguous, schlocky-sequel-cranking-out empire that it is today.
  
  So, I was heartened to learn that the Roy E. Disney (nephew of Walt, and until recently the last Disney on the board of Disney) wants to try to revitalize the company. Unfortunately, he has to do this as merely a shareholder (although he's got a lot of shares) since he resigned in November (before he could be oustered). Anyway, check out his efforts at SaveDisney.com. - View/Add Comments (8 so far)

• January 8th 2004, 1:15 PM

  Does anyone know of any primary care doctors (Adult Medicine, General Practitioner, Internal Medicine, etc) in the Sacramento area that they could recommend and who accepts Blue Cross?
  Its been several years since my last checkup and I didn't really mesh with the last doctor I saw. Obviously there are web resources for this type of thing, but that's how I found the last guy. So, I'd prefer some sort of recommendation if anyone has one. - View/Add Comments (14 so far)

• September 20th 2003, 2:36 PM

  So, I'm reasonably certain the answer will be a resounding "no" (or, at the very least, a few befuddled "huh?"s and "who?"s), but I figured I'd throw this out there:
  I was curious to know if anyone was interested in going to check out Peter Schickele performing some works of P.D.Q. Bach with the San Francisco Symphony on December 12th?
  
  P.D.Q. Bach's music doesn't get performed very much at all, and its gotten to be exceedingly rare to get to hear it performed with Professor Schickele (the discoverer of all of P.D.Q. Bach's known composistions).
  
  I'm prepared to go by myself if it comes to that, but I figured I'd find out first if there are any closet classical music fans here in BigDisLand that would be interested in plunking down $50 or so to come along. - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• September 5th 2003, 6:44 AM

  Carter Andrew Lillie was delivered today at 2:39am PDT, weighing 9lbs 4.2oz and measuring 20.5 inches long.
  Baby and mother are resting comfortably.
  
  (More later, after father manages to get a little nap.) - View/Add Comments (29 so far)

• September 2nd 2003, 9:36 AM

  OK, well maybe that's going a bit too far. But, it is pretty cool, and it is used, so isn't that close enough?
  
  After several weekends of fun, its time to let Jeff's beloved Slip'N Slide pass on to a new owner. Why I'm the one listing it on Ebay is something even I'm uncertain about.
  
  Anyway, without further ado, I present to you:
  The Wham-O Slip'N Slide Tidal Wave (Type R) - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• July 18th 2003, 12:35 PM

  OK, so if you've ever gone to Greenwich (in England, just down the Thames from London) and walked up to the top of the hill to the old Royal Observatory with a GPS unit and been confused by the fact that said GPS unit doesn't read precisely 0 degrees longitude when set on top of the (sponsored) strip inset into the courtyard over the supposed "Prime Meridian of the World", today is your lucky day.
  I had a similar experience back in November whilst Dawnna and I were vacationing in London {shout outs to our gracious host, Kathryn}. And, until this morning, I had not bothered to try to find out a satisfactory answer. I suppose I had always assumed that my GPS receiver was broken or something.
  After a little searching with my friend Google, I found the answer. It's pretty convoluted, but in a nutshell boils down to the fact that 0 degrees to a GPS and the "Prime" meridian in Greenwich are actually about 100 meters (that's around 300 feet for the metrically-challenged) apart due to a number of adjustments made over the last 100 years or so in developing an international standard. Which of them is "real" is a bit up for debate. Anyway, now you know.
  
  As an aside: annoyingly, they don't seem to mention any of this anywhere that I saw on the grounds of the old Royal Observatory. But, I was curious enough to find out where my GPS read 0 degrees to wander off into the park next to the observatory and (unknowingly at the time) visit the other|GPS-based|real(?) "Prime" meridian.
  
  As an aside to the aside: if you ever do find yourself going to Greenwich (which I enjoyed, though your mileage may vary), I heartily recommend walking under the Thames from the Isle of Dogs (the north bank) in the Greenwich Foot Tunnel. Its a bit of a hike coming up the stairs on the far end, but the accoustics in the tunnel are really bizarre (you'll think those people 100 feet behind you are close enough to tap you on the shoulder) and worth the trip, even if you aren't interested in the idea of walking under a river. - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• June 24th 2003, 2:23 PM

  So am I the only person on this planet who wants to buy a corded, non-optical, right-handed mouse these days? - View/Add Comments (13 so far)

• March 29th 2003, 2:02 AM

  I know a lot of you already know this, but I know we've also forgotten to mention it to a lot of folks too:
  
  Dawnna and I are having a baby! - View/Add Comments (21 so far)

• March 18th 2003, 5:01 PM

  I come before you to unveil a new bit of pointlessness from the people that brought you In France, Slogans, and Zamboni to Nowhere:
  The State Game!
  
  Who is the person who's been to the most states? What states are those? What would a map of the lower 48 United States look like if that person's states were colored primary green? How does your total chalk up?
  Go now, and find out. - View/Add Comments (39 so far)

• March 6th 2003, 10:25 AM

  I just wanted to post a rant but I don't really have anything to rant about. So consider this a meta-rant about how I have nothing to rant about. - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• December 31st 2002, 5:14 PM

  Just wanted to take a moment to give a birthday shout to my "little" brother, Jeffy! - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• December 4th 2002, 12:54 PM

  For those of you who enjoyed my first collection of images from several months back taken with my Casio watch/camera, I've finally gotten off my lazy ass and uploaded and annotated another selection of images from it: Dawnna's and my Honeymoon
  
  Oh, and there's also the miscellaneous collection which has been sitting around for quite some time, but I never really advertised. - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• September 24th 2002, 6:02 PM

  So, does anyone care that the Question of the Day has been gone for the last week? - View/Add Comments (8 so far)

• July 16th 2002, 12:07 PM

  Wow, so many big announcements recently. I'd been trying to wait for a bit so as not to horn in on anyone's big news.
  But, alas, I'm running out of time, so...
  
  Dawnna and I are buying a brand new house out in Antelope. And, we want you to be able to see it.
  The catch? We need abled bodied bodies to help us move our stuff from our apartment to the house.
  
  So, I'd like to humbly request the presence of any of the Big Dis posse, who feel so compelled, to come to our aid on Tuesday July 30th. Unfortunately, the lease on our apartment is running out a mere 2 days after we get the keys to the house, so the move has to happen on a weekday. But we should have everything boxable boxed by then (heck, we're about 75% boxed up already).
  Give us a call, or drop us an email and we can give you all the details. - View/Add Comments (11 so far)

• May 16th 2002, 1:08 PM

  Dawn Marie delivered my two beautiful new nephews, Baby A and Baby B, at 7:50pm last night at the UCD Med Center. No names as of yet.
  Baby A, and DM are doing great. Baby B is currently in the Special Care Nursery, with some slight breathing problems, but he's stable and doing well.
  
  Sorry for not telling everyone sooner. More details to follow... - View/Add Comments (23 so far)

• May 4th 2002, 12:56 PM

  I just wanted to wish my dearest wife "Happy birthday." So, Happy Birthday, Sweetie!
  
  And. yes, I am a terrible husband for forgetting to post this yesterday (on her actual birthday). - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• February 3rd 2002, 10:03 PM

  If you've got nothing better to do with a few minutes of your life for the next few days, check out my Atlanta WristCam Travelogue and see the power of Japanese, wrist-mounted, digital imaging technology!
  Be sure to check back for updates.
  - View/Add Comments (15 so far)

• January 8th 2002, 10:50 AM

  Tomorrow, January 9th, 2002, every Tickle Me Elmo Surprise doll (with working batteries, and that gets played with) will surprise its tickler with "a whole new way to play."
  Dawnna and I are utterly convinced that this will take the form of teaching the children of the world how to take to arms and rise up in service of the capricious whims of Elmo.
  In short, tomorrow will be the beginning of the Elmo Apocalypse!!!
  
  So, enjoy your last day free from the tyranny of annoying, condescending, baby-talking, usurper of good, wholesome muppet screen time.
  
  You have been warned. - View/Add Comments (11 so far)

• October 11th 2001, 12:08 PM

  OK, I'm sorry if anyone finds this sorta thing offensive, but this is just the weirdest, funniest bit of randomness I've stumbled onto in quite some time.
  Maybe it is just some giant hoax, but there seems to be a decent quanity of "evidence" for me to think its not.
  And even if it is, its still pretty darn funny. - View/Add Comments (10 so far)

• July 9th 2001, 8:02 AM

  Dawnna and I are engaged to be married! - View/Add Comments (34 so far)

• June 11th 2001, 11:24 PM

  First, an apology to FHS class of '91 alumni who were dying to see me. I know that there must have been a large crowd who walked out as soon as they realized that I wasn't there.
  But, for those of you who did go...what did I miss? Was it really worth the $70 a person? Let's hear some dirt. Of course if you have some really good gossip that you don't see fit to post here, you can always email it to me.
  
  And, seriously, I'm sorry I flaked on you guys. I'll try to make it up to y'all some other time. - View/Add Comments (16 so far)

• May 14th 2001, 12:42 PM

  OK, so I imagine that most of y'all either don't care, or have heard already. And, I know I'm ever teasing people like Shawn for getting maudlin about public figures passing away. But, this just makes me a little sad. He was probably my favorite author, and responsible for more hours of amusement reading his books than I can count. I still depend on them for a giggle now and then (and as Dawnna can tell you, my leather-bound copy of his first four novels is one of my prized possesions).
  Anyway, I just wanted to pay my respects. - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• May 3rd 2001, 8:40 AM

  Just wanted to wish my sweetie a very happy 26th birthday!!!
  
  Happy Birthday, Dawnna J!!!!! - View/Add Comments (12 so far)

• April 23rd 2001, 2:17 PM

  I think the title says it all. We (the Sacramento Kings) lost last night at home. It certainly does not bode well as far as I can tell. I was really hoping we'd finally make a decent showing in the playoffs.
  Oh well, at least Matt and Greg (if he's feeling like supporting his local as opposed to hometown team) can't gloat as the Blazers got whooped too! - View/Add Comments (9 so far)

• March 5th 2001, 5:55 AM

  No I'm not in England. I'm in Florida near Orlando for a week taking a training course. So far the area reminds me of Rancho Cordova (not in a good way). It's all business parks and chain restaurants. - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• March 1st 2001, 2:22 PM

  Well, how 'bout these apples: According to State Farm Insurance the intersection of Fair Oaks Boulevard and Watt Avenue is not only the third Most Dangerous Intersection in California, but its also the seventh Most Dangerous Intersection in the United States (where "dangerous" is based on claims filed, not injuries)
  I'm not sure if this is kinda cool, or kinda scary, or both. - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• December 14th 2000, 9:05 AM

  I found what I want for Christmas. You can all go in together an get it for me, OK? Check it out! - View/Add Comments (20 so far)

• December 6th 2000, 7:59 AM

  Hello all. I'm in Atlanta, GA on business and I so far don't have a real net connection yet. So I just wanted to give y`all a shout out. He anyone feels the need for a Georgia souvenir drop me a comment here and I will try to oblige. - View/Add Comments (8 so far)

• December 4th 2000, 9:24 AM

  OK, so I think I've found the solution to our election difficulties:
  Quake III Political Arena - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• November 24th 2000, 3:08 PM

  Me, D, Q, & McF are here in Florida. Just wanted to rub it in. Oh yeah... I'm posting this from my phone. - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• October 24th 2000, 12:24 PM

  I know we have a few BSD/Linux geeks here from time to time. This one's for you:
  So, I've recently put together a FreeBSD box at work that I mainly intend to use for development/screwing around. But, from time to time I might use it as a workstation, so I have X installed.
  But, I'm having a hell of a time trying to decide which of the big two "desktop environments" to use.
  On the one hand, Gnome is GPL'd, which is generally a Good Thing. But, it seemingly suffers from feature bloat, particularly when used with some of the fancier windows managers (like Enlightenment). So, while it has lots of "stuff", its been a complicated to me and seems to take a lot of disk space.
  On the other hand, KDE is (seemingly) thinner, and a bit more newbie-friendly. It has its own integraged "windows manager" too which cuts the wm-choice-frustration that Gnome brings me. But, KDE includes some code that is commercial, and that could be a bad thing later.
  Complicating the whole mess is the announcement by Sun and others to use Gnome to replace the old-school CDE soon. So, it almost seems like Gnome may edge KDE out of the picture soon.
  
  So, my question to you all is: which should I use, Gnome or KDE? Which do you like better? Also, if you're into Gnome, what's your favorite windows manager? - View/Add Comments (13 so far)

• October 23rd 2000, 1:48 PM

  I don't think I've heard anyone here really discuss the VP candidates. They will almost certainly be allowed some token policy influence, along with the fact that they can have some influence in Congress. Not to mention that you'd better like them if the Prez dies in office. Thoughts on the Veeps? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• October 17th 2000, 4:59 PM

  It's a boy! Dylan LawrenceLillie. Jeffs still in the delivery room so i thought i'd let you all know. - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• October 8th 2000, 11:36 PM

  Two Classics of American Music, Free To Good Home:
  My only brother (who will remain nameless) decided he didn't care about my (or his) personal musical history and was throwing out two cassettes that are epic documents of moments in American independent music...
  Well, OK, so they're basically just demos of two bands I was in a few years back. In any case, I chose to rescue them, since I thought someone might want 'em. If you're interested, just post a comment here that explains in 30 words or less why you should be the lucky recipient of these monumental musical masterpieces.
  Oh yeah, I guess it should be worth mentioning what these casettes actually are. The first one is the classic from 1991 by Graham Cracker Cyclone - Helpings of Grandeur, containing "Memories of Nothing," "The Obelisk," "Lost," (featuring first time vocals by now-indiepop star Verna Brock), "Anxiety" (the definitive version), & "Encounter with Madness". I don't have any MP3's of these, so if you don't know 'em you'll just have to trust me when I say its equal helpings of the Cure and Joy Division played by a bunch of teenage suburbanites.
  The second cassette is the embryonic first release from McFadden - Steel Shank, containing "Chelsea," "Sans Pants," "Maria's Tit's," "Rope," and (the hidden track) "Sucka". If your not familiar with this one, you can here MP3's of these songs locally or on MP3.com. - View/Add Comments (17 so far)

• September 21st 2000, 11:57 AM

  So, I'm not quite sure why I didn't mention this earlier, but I guess I'll go ahead and tell y'all now:
  As of about 2 weeks ago, I no longer work for Tower Records. Instead, I decided to take a job as a "Legacy Systems Administrator" (for a while, probably move to "Network Engineer" in a few months) at OneMain.com ("an EarthLink Company").
  Why? I dunno, really. More money and more stuff to do, I guess. I dunno, just needed a change.
  Anyway, from the sounds of it, being owned by EarthLink is going to be pretty cool, so we shall see... - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• September 4th 2000, 12:51 PM

  So, I've been sitting here listening to Luke's Hall of Fame and got to "Banned in the USA" and I had this odd revelation. It went something like this:
  Luther Campbell (aka Luke) is a true patriot for not only his actions defending his right to free speech under the First Ammendment, but apparently understanding why the First Ammendment is so important.
  It's weird and its true. Don't believe me? Take a listen to "Banned in the USA". Anyway, I say: God bless Luther Campbell!
  (man, I've always wanted to be able to say that in a rant). - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• August 10th 2000, 4:38 PM

  In a blatant rip off of the ever popular Ask Slashdot feature over at Slashdot.org, I've chosen to step to you, the BIGdis elite, for some advice:
  I'm thinking of getting a new sound card for my PC. I don't need "3D sound" or any of that jazz. What I want is super duper clean analog inputs, a decent sounding headphone jack and super super awesome stereo line-level outs of some sort (analog and/or digital). Furthermore, I need it to be as resistant as possible to stray EM, since my PC is a pretty noisy affair electrically (as far as I can tell). Thoughts? - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• August 9th 2000, 2:23 PM

  I'm in a meeting right now. Damn it's boring! - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• August 8th 2000, 1:48 PM

  So, I happened to find myself in Downtown Sactown today (on my way back from getting some bloodwork done), and decided to stop at Da Big Kahuna's Pizza N' Stuffs --one of the finest dining establishments Downtown Sacramento has to offer for those of you have not already experienced it.
  Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah...so, I drove down to 7th and L, parked behind the bank (illegally I guess) and walked over to Kahuna's. On my way, I noticed something odd: I really really miss working in Downtown. I mean, I got a real buzz from all the hustle and bustle around, all the weird-ass people, the (apparently neverending) work being done on the road, etc.
  What could this mean? Does it mean I miss being at JPS? God, I hope not. I don't seem to feel that. Does it mean that I'm really a "city boy"? I don't think that's the case either as I have a deep deep addiction to the joys of wide streets and all hours grocery shopping that the suburbs bring. So, what did this strange feeling really indicate. I thought about it a while and I think it boils down to this:
  West Sacramento Sucks! West Sac is a sad, sorry, desolate blight on the face of the Greater Sacramento Metropolitan Area. At least that's what I think. Thoughts? - View/Add Comments (10 so far)

• August 3rd 2000, 3:47 PM

  For weeks now (or at least days), I've been taking note of your cries. Ever since the last transmission I forwarded to you from our friends Big Giant Robots you, my people, have been asking and asking for me to spring yet another half-baked piece of goofiness on you.
  I have heard your call!
  And, so, (with inspiration from Dawnna) I have created yet another new BIGdis feature:
  In France!!!
  Please check it out, get a feel for it, and add some of your own. And, if it gets enough hits, I'll add it as a link to the front page... - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• August 3rd 2000, 9:15 AM

  OK, so this is cool for reasons I can't really explain. Granted, I wish it returned audio in something other than RealAudio, but still...
  - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• July 30th 2000, 2:07 PM

  So in answer to my previous post, I'm coming to you from somewhere near Main Street Station on the Disneyland Railroad. Dawnna & I decided to take a quick trip to SoCal just for the heck of it. You'd be surprised how dead this place is before 10a.m. Out. - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• July 30th 2000, 12:02 PM

  Guess where I am. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• July 28th 2000, 6:08 PM

  Have you posted from your car on your drive home? I have. Why. Because i can. Sorry the novelty will end eventually. - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• July 28th 2000, 4:44 PM

  Ok here it is. The first ever wireless rant. I think its pretty fresh. What do you think? - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• July 28th 2000, 3:52 PM

  OK, so if all goes well, this should appear as a rant. Let's see shall we? Apologies in advance if I break something... - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• July 25th 2000, 3:48 PM

  No one has posted or commented on anything today? What gives? Its like its a Sunday or something around here. - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• July 24th 2000, 3:00 PM

  So, this whole Calvin-pissing-on-something sticker thing has apparently begun to take a turn for the really weird.
  On my way back to work from lunch, I saw a mid-90's Honda Civic with a Calvin-pissing-on sticker. Now, that wouldn't normally be too weird, just kinda annoying. Here's the weird part: Calvin was pissing on a Honda logo! Huh?? - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• July 19th 2000, 12:38 PM

  big giant robots!
  BIG GIANT ROBOTS!!!!!
  BIG GIANT ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!
  
  - View/Add Comments (14 so far)

• July 17th 2000, 10:49 AM

  So, I just want to take a moment to vent a tiny bit:
  GRRRRR.....I HATE AT&T WIRELESS'S COVERAGE IN THE GREATER SACRAMENTO METROPOLITAN AREA!!!!!!!!!
  There, feel better (for now). For those who are curious, the reason for my rage is that my cell phone is essentially useless in the 3 or 4 places that I commonly am (work, home, the Roseville Road area between Andrea and Antelope, the Arden area between I-80 and Watt). I'm sick to shit of it, and I've been waiting for my employer (who provided the phone, and activated the service) to tell me if there's going to be a disconnect charge and if so, tell me if I'm going to get stuck with it, so that I can change carriers.
  Anyhow, I think I'm calmed enough for the moment. - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• July 13th 2000, 1:44 PM

  Man!, why didn't someone tell me that the Antiques Roadshow was coming to town?
  If anyone has tickets that they don't want, let me know. Sure, I'm not really into antiquing, and I probably don't have anything to take, but I really like the show.
  Anyhow, feel free to laugh behind my back and call me names now. - View/Add Comments (14 so far)

• July 7th 2000, 4:00 PM

  Can I just take this moment to say: "Hooray for DSL!"
  That and: "Haha, Rob and McF. No DSL for you!" - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• July 6th 2000, 8:54 AM

  I want to go rafting. A nice lazy day on the river floating down, gettin' wet, drinking tasty beverages, etc.
  Anyone interested? - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• June 27th 2000, 12:42 PM

  OK, so thanks to everyone who replied. I'm committed to being able to offer up at least one or two bits of goodies for everyone to buy at as cheap a price as possible (namely: cost plus shipping, plus maybe a percent or two to cover costs).
  As far as what that will be? Well, I think the unanimous choice is a T-shirt, particularly one with the small "B in a D" logo on the front breast and the current main logo on the back.
  A close runner up seems to be a cap (or "hat" depending on your preference). Though, I don't really care for caps/hats, it seems others do.
  So, I'm going to do some research on prices and vendors and get back to you all once I have some details. Might be a few days, maybe a few weeks, we'll see.
  Also, be forwarned, there might be the offer of some other less usefull and/or less clothing based items too.
  So, start saving your nickels now! :-) - View/Add Comments (18 so far)

• June 21st 2000, 3:48 PM

  OK, I was gonna make a cool CGI polling tool, but I'm too lazy right now. So, for now, we'll just do this the old fashioned way. I'd like to know Everybody's thoughts on the following three questions:
  1) Is anyone interested in purchasing BIGdis logo gear? Particularly if we were to sell it to you for little or no profit?
  2) If so, what? T-Shirts?, Hats, stickers, ball point pens, clocks? Something else?
  3) Which logo would you like to see? The Classic Front Page Logo -or- The Cute Icon-ish Logo That I Use on BIGdis CDs -or- A newly created logo?
  Don't be a lurker, let us know your opinion on this one! - View/Add Comments (45 so far)

• June 12th 2000, 3:02 PM

  Woo hoo, yet another new ZTN Check it out, and start writing too!
  As always, go here to read about how its done. - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• June 12th 2000, 8:52 AM

  Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who helped out with me and Dawnna's move this weekend. So, Thanks!!! - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• June 8th 2000, 9:13 AM

  Attention all ye of good hearts: Dawnna and I will be moving from her parents' place into our new appartment this Saturday, June 10th. Any and all help will be graciously accepted. We'll have a rental truck, and the vast majority of boxable stuff is infact already boxed. So, what we'll really need it help loading and unloading the truck.
  We don't have any official reimbursement plans for anyone, but we'll do our best to provide beverages, etc during, and try to arrange to recompense everyone for their effort at some later point.
  Anyway, if you wanna help, shoot me an email, post a comment here, or give me a call and I'll give y'all the details.
  Thanks in Advance! - View/Add Comments (13 so far)

• June 7th 2000, 2:27 PM

  Hey, y'all. Just posted another kick ass installment of Zamboni to Nowhere. This one, like the last few comes courtesy of a Booker --James as it happens.
  So, yet again, I must refer all of y'all here to find out what ZTN is and how you can contribute.
  C'mon, won't someone else step up and help carry the burden that the Bookers are bearing for your entertainment???
  (Don't get me wrong, James and Mike's submissions have been top notch. Its not that I don't want them to contribute, but I'd love to see what the others of you come up with) - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• May 26th 2000, 8:59 AM

  Apologies in advance for those of you who are coming here looking only for complaining, for today I have only raves:
  1) Both Booker brothers return us to the land of Zamboni to Nowhere with a new episode each (ep's 14 and 15). And, they are certainly some of the more entertaining writing to hit ZTN in a while :-) As always, go here to read my original attempt at riot incitement (read: a page telling you what ZTN is, and how you are required by law to submit episodes too. OK, maybe I lied about the "required by law" bit, but still, you too can be an author, follow the link to find out how).
  2) Went with Dawnna, Rob, and Cyndie to the San Francisco Symphony last night and saw them perform Beethoven's Ninth. Now, feel free to call me names for this, but I was honestly nearly weeping at the power of the 4th Movement/Finale. I'm sure just about all of you have heard the theme/melody from the Finale of the Ninth (often called Ode to Joy). But, if you've never heard the whole movement, as I hadn't, I don't think you can really understand how fucking brilliant it is. It's damn near as good as sex, how after teasing you with a hint of the theme for a few minutes, it finally gives in and just hits you with a full frontal assualt of chorus and orchestra with a seriously emotive bit of music. Maybe it has something to do with the sheer power of 150 voices singing about Joy and brotherhood (in German, no less), I dunno. Anyhow, I guess what I'm saying is: Thanks Beethoven, Michael Tilson Thomas, and the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra for managing to seriously stir the usually-cynical soul of yours truly. Bravo!
  Now you all can feel free to start tearing me apart for this. - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• May 19th 2000, 8:30 AM

  BIGdis.com Needs Your Help!
  OK, so as some of you may or may not know: McF, and I are going our seperate ways once the lease runs out at The Pond (our current dwelling) at the end of this month.
  I know, you're thinking to yourself, "Enough, all we hear about around here is people moving!". That may be true, but here's why this affects you:
  
  The server that is BIGdis.com is going to be homeless on May 31st. Or, more accurately, its going to be networkless for at least a few weeks until one of us (Rob, McF, or myself) get DSL turned up at our new places.
  So, this is an open invitation to any of you BIGdis'ers out there who might happen to have some nice network bandwidth (DSL/CableModem or better) to volunteer to take the BIGdis.com server into your home and give it a place to live until sometime in June. If you think you can do that, please post here, or email me if you'd prefer. - View/Add Comments (10 so far)

• May 18th 2000, 10:17 PM

  So, I was sitting here listening to Chris Rock, and theres a part on his new CD where he says "Cornbread. Ain't nothing wrong with that!"
  And, I realized just now, truer words have probably never been spoken. Cornbread is the shit! - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• May 16th 2000, 4:13 PM

  Cool. Yet another new Zamboni to Nowhere episode. This time submitted by our other Booker (Mike).
  Once again, I refer you to this link for infor on what Zamboni to Nowhere is and how you too can contribute.
  
  And, I'd still like some comments on ZTN (like, are you reading it, are you enjoying it, if you haven't written any episodes, why not, etc)... - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• May 15th 2000, 9:09 AM

  Hey, Just wanted to let everyone know that I just posted the newest Zamboni to Nowhere written by Mr. James Booker (his first ZTN, and a great start, I think).
  As always, I refer you to this link for info on what exactly Zamboni to Nowhere is, and how/why you should contribute.
  
  While I'm at it, I'd love some comments on who/if anyone (other than James and me, obviously) is still following ZTN? - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• May 5th 2000, 3:25 PM

  Woohoo! Through the gracious assistance of Mr. Meyer, and my own boredom and feeble Perl "programming" skills, we now have a way for everyone to join in on the question of the day action:
  
  Just email your questions to our new imagninary friend Melvin "Mr. Wizard" Lipschitz at questionoftheday@bigdis.com or qotd@bigdis.com
  In the body of your email, place your questions, one per line.
  NOTE: Your question Must start with a "question word" (Who, What, Where, When, Why, How) and Must start with a capital letter, and Must end with a question mark. If you don't do this, poor Melvin won't recognize your question. For instance: What is this shit? is a valid format, but who the fuck is Melvin Lipshitz? isn't, nor is Why can't I leave off the question mark. If you don't like these restrictions, tough! Go write your own email question parsing thingee.
  
  Anyway, everynight at midnight, Melvin will pick one of the submitted questions at random and post it. If there are no questions, then there won't be a Question of the Day that day. (I'll try to see to it that that doesn't happen). It's probably also worth noting that all the other questions submitted previous to the choice will be discarded. So, if you are insistant on getting your question up, and it gets randomly un-picked, you'll need to resend it the next day.
  So, let's see how this works. If there are major problems, or whatever, let me know. Thanks to everyone for supporting the Question of the day! (And thanks to Ed and Matt for a collectively hilarious name). - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• May 3rd 2000, 8:29 AM

  Hey everyone, it's Dawnna's Birthday!
  I'll start the birthday well wishing by saying:
  Happiest of Birthdays to You, Sweetie!
  (Yes, Dawnna does read bigdis, even if she doesn't post...maybe if we bug her enough, she'll start chiming in). - View/Add Comments (12 so far)

• May 2nd 2000, 12:05 PM

  Hi. For those of you with HDML 3.0 "mini browser" compatible cell phones (basically if you're lucky enough to have a cell phone with a mini browser in the US, it will support HDML 3) I have updated the HDML interface for the BigDis front page.
  Since I last dinked with it (back in November) Rob had made a few changes that caused rendering problems (allowing P tags for instance), and I had a previously unresolved issue with length problems. I went ahead and straightened those both out.
  I'm still testing, so it might be a bit flakey for the next hour or so. But, you should be able to see the last 5 rants, plus the news, up to the first 1300 characters or so.
  Now if I could only dump AT&T and get a cell phone with HDML support. - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• April 27th 2000, 9:08 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Who wants the Question of the Day to continue? - View/Add Comments (20 so far)

• April 24th 2000, 8:48 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Has it really been 50 questions already? - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• April 23rd 2000, 8:18 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Why you gotta waste my flava? (Damn!) - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• April 22nd 2000, 6:19 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's my problem? - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• April 20th 2000, 8:23 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's your problem? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• April 19th 2000, 8:24 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Are you a member of the bourgeoisie or the proletariat? - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• April 18th 2000, 8:20 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Who's your daddy? - View/Add Comments (12 so far)

• April 17th 2000, 8:49 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Where is your ideal place to live (if income were not an issue)? - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• April 16th 2000, 5:49 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Where can I find an RF converter so that I can hook up my DVD player (which only has "RCA" style A/V outputs) to Dawnna's TV (which only has "coax" inputs)? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• April 15th 2000, 7:38 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Sprechen Sie deutsch? - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• April 14th 2000, 8:07 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's your excuse for not writing a new episode of Zamboni to Nowhere? - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• April 12th 2000, 4:17 PM

  We interrupt your regularly scheduled program...
  To bring you, after 3 months a brand new(!)...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #11
  "A New Toy"
  by Shawn McFadden
  Dell was startled by the knock at the door. He was too afraid to even go and look out the peephole.
  “How did they find me,” he thought to himself, “I thought I lost them.”
  Then he heard a familiar voice at the door.
  “Dell it’s me. Aren’t you in there man?”
  Dell felt relieved, finally someone he knew and could trust was here. He ran to the door, looked out the peephole and pulled the door open.
  “Who’s Impala is that? I didn’t…”
  “Get inside quick,” Dell said as he yanked his visitor inside.
  “Dude, what the hell is going on? You page me with a 911, you yank me into your house,” DeShawn said as he got his bearings back after being yanked inside, “and you’re sweating like you’ve got scarlet fever or something.”
  “You’re not going to believe what has happened to me in the last 24 hours.”
  “What? Did you get caught in bed with the Dean’s wife?
  I mean after getting caught with his daughter I didn’t think you could beat that.”
  “NO! This is serious,” Dell yelled!
  “OK, sorry man. What’s going on,” DeShawn asked?
  Dell explained the whole story --every little detail. DeShawn jut sat there utterly amazed and listened to the crazy tail unwind. If anyone else had been telling him this he wouldn’t believe them. But he knew Dell well, and he knew when he was serious, and Dell was dead serious this time. When Dell was finished with the story DeShawn finally spoke.
  “Holly shit,” was all he could muster for a second. “So Wayne Newton has been kidnapped and some other poor sap has been killed. What the hell are you going to do? Wait, you didn’t sleep with the fat chick did you?“ DeShawn asked.
  “I don’t know. I hope not. At least then maybe this Lassiter guy won’t kill me. I wish I had some kind of weapon or something. For some reason I don’t think this chef’s knife,” he said as he held up the ceramic chef’s knife --DeShawn had not previously noticed-- in his hand, “is going to do much good against whatever the hell that thing that melted Jeph was. Wait a minute, I wonder what is in that case in the car?”
  “What case in the car.” DeShawn asked?
  “There is a big black case in the backseat of the Impala,” Dell answered as he stood up and headed for the door.
  DeShawn followed him over to the door. Dell opened it a crack and looked around outside.
  “Come on, give me a hand,” he said to DeShawn as he bolted towards the Impala. DeShawn followed him to the car. Dell opened the door and pulled the large case out of the back seat. They each grabbed one side and carried it back into the house. They sat it down in the middle of the living room and opened it up. Both of their eyes went wide as the case opened and revealed its contents.
  “What the fuck is that,” DeShawn said?
  “Oh God I hope that is a real gun and not some toy like it looks,” Dell said as he reached for what could only be described as some kind of Sci-Fi laser cannon. He lifted it up. It was heavy. If it was a toy, it certainly was a realistic one. Something about they way it felt to hold it let Dell know it was not a toy. He had no idea where Wayne Newton had been taken, why Jeph the Phat PHD had been shot, or what in general was going on. But, at least now they had some kind of defense against whomever the hell all these people were. - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• April 12th 2000, 8:59 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's the best song of all time?
  Again, feel free to use your own definition of "best" - View/Add Comments (15 so far)

• April 11th 2000, 11:04 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's the most intelligent species on this planet?
  (Feel free to use your own operating definition of "intelligent") - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• April 10th 2000, 8:31 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Whatchootalkinabout, Willis? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• April 9th 2000, 8:51 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  When is lunch? - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• April 8th 2000, 9:06 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Was it good for you? - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• April 7th 2000, 9:29 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll(tm) center of a Tootsie Roll Pop(tm)? - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• April 6th 2000, 8:41 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What gives? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• April 5th 2000, 8:38 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  If you could spend one week in any time/place in history where would it be? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• April 4th 2000, 8:48 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Who killed JFK? - View/Add Comments (12 so far)

• April 3rd 2000, 10:35 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  If you could have lunch with one deceased person, who would it be and why? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• April 2nd 2000, 3:10 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Who invented ketchup? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• April 1st 2000, 4:23 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What doesn't go with winter melon? - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• March 31st 2000, 9:30 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What is the wierd Japanese fascination with sea urchin-based foods? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• March 30th 2000, 9:23 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Which Iron Chef is the Iron-est (that is, which one is the best)? - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• March 29th 2000, 9:04 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What does the challenger have in that stock pot? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• March 28th 2000, 8:29 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Fukui-san? - View/Add Comments (12 so far)

• March 27th 2000, 8:40 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What is the theme ingredient in this week's battle? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• March 26th 2000, 5:19 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What will win Best Picture (at the Academy Awards)? - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• March 25th 2000, 6:59 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Where is everyone? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• March 24th 2000, 9:18 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Coke or Pepsi? - View/Add Comments (17 so far)

• March 23rd 2000, 8:29 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's the greatest video game console of all time? - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• March 22nd 2000, 9:03 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What purpose do eyebrows serve? - View/Add Comments (8 so far)

• March 21st 2000, 8:26 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What is the fascination with stickers of Calvin pissing on things? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• March 20th 2000, 9:52 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day
  Why is prostitution illegal? - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• March 19th 2000, 7:49 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day
  What's wrong with my CDROM drive? - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• March 18th 2000, 8:01 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day
  What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• March 17th 2000, 1:54 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day
  If given the chance to decide, what would your last meal be? - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• March 16th 2000, 3:48 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day
  Quien es mas macho, yo o tu? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• March 15th 2000, 8:38 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day
  Is there "life" after death? - View/Add Comments (14 so far)

• March 14th 2000, 11:55 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's wrong with people? - View/Add Comments (9 so far)

• March 13th 2000, 10:00 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Should I just give up and let Question of the Day shrivel up and die and go away? - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• March 10th 2000, 3:08 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  How many angels can you fit on the head of a pin, anyway? - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• March 9th 2000, 10:08 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Who wrote The Book of Love? - View/Add Comments (7 so far)

• March 8th 2000, 9:04 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What happened to the Question of the Day yesterday? - View/Add Comments (12 so far)

• March 6th 2000, 12:06 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day: What's the right way to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup? - View/Add Comments (10 so far)

• March 5th 2000, 5:46 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Is variety really the spice of life? - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• March 4th 2000, 6:59 PM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What's up with Chris Rock's hands?
  - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• March 3rd 2000, 9:48 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  What makes Mountain Dew so good? - View/Add Comments (11 so far)

• March 2nd 2000, 11:37 AM

  Andy's Question of the Day:
  Who would win in a fight between Boba Fett and Chewbacca? - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• March 1st 2000, 1:29 PM

  OK, so I'm feeling the need to start a new "feature" here on BDDB. And, yes, much like my previous attempts at an ongoing feature, it will probably go the way of the dinosaur soon enough. But, I'll try to be dilligent for now. Anyway, here goes...
  
  Andy's Question of the Day:
  When did Depeche Mode stop being cool? - View/Add Comments (14 so far)

• February 29th 2000, 2:56 PM

  So I have one question, and one question only: Are we ever going to get to see Rob's fabled travel diary of his European vacation from last year?
  (Sure, maybe this doesn't really need to be a "rant" but I was bored, so I figured I'd post it...) - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• February 23rd 2000, 3:36 PM

  OK, with Shawn's recent post mentioning his new additions to his automobile, and the addition of our new roomate Ben (who doesn't post around here often enough anymore) and his kick-ass RX7, I'm starting get that urge to get myself behind the wheel of something cooler than my current ride named Honky. For the record, Honky is a 1997 Chevy Cavalier 4 door with 5 speed manual transmission and just about no fancy features.
  So, I've been pondering three choices and want to know what everyone's thoughts are:
  1) Try to soup up Honky. Chances are doing this in any real sense is probably not possible without essentially buying all the parts to build a Cavalier Z24 and refitting them into Honky. That is to say, there's just not many performance parts for a base '97 Cavalier
  2) Give up the ghost and just keep Honky until its paid off (about 2 years) and then ponder replacing him.
  3) Buy something new.
  So your tasks are: tell me which choice to make, and if it's number 3) tell me what new car (in the $30,000 and under category) to buy? - View/Add Comments (30 so far)

• February 23rd 2000, 1:49 PM

  I'm bored...oh so so oh so bored.
  Someone entertain me. - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• February 15th 2000, 9:35 AM

  So, I was sitting here wondering to myself why it is that "old" people (where "old" = anyone you see as old...that is, I'm not sure what I mean by it, but keep reading, when you see the rest of my question, you'll recognize the truism that I was curious about...).
  Anyway, let me start again since I've probably lost you by now ;-) I was trying to figure out why it is that "old" people never like pop music. I mean, it's an almost universal truth that your father will not like "your" music, and his father didn't like "his" music, and so forth. As I was pondering this, I came to a sudden realization. The older I have gotten the less that I like popular music. And, its to the point now where I've basically lost touch with the popular music scene. I couldn't tell you what's on the Billboard Hot 100 even if I wanted to. I have no idea what songs Casey Casem will be counting down this week on America's Top Forty (if that show is even still around), and I don't know what records my employer is unable to keep stocked on the shelves due to overwhelming demand.
  When did this happen to me? Why did this happen to me? I mean, I still like music. I even still like new music...but its all electronica or indie-pop/indie-rock --not stuff that usually makes the charts. Granted, I've never really been one to be a slave to the charts, but in years past, I've at least known what was on them. Is this a problem, or should I be proud of the apparent beginning of my decline into stodginess?
  As an aside: as I was trying to figure out just where I started to diverge from knowing "the charts", I came to the realization that my favorite song (if not my favorite music), is 18 years old! (For those playing along at home, my favorite song is the original version of "Temptation" by New Order). Is this normal or should I force myself to find a more recent "favorite song"? - View/Add Comments (11 so far)

• January 25th 2000, 4:12 PM

  I guess Zamboni to Nowhere is dead. I'd prefer that not be the case, but no one has submitted anything in the last, what, 5 days now.
  Now, I suppose I could continue just writing ep's myself, but that's not much fun.
  So, if any of y'all want to prove me wrong, I'll happily accept your new episode submissions (click my head to get my email addy if you don't already know it). - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• January 21st 2000, 1:32 PM

  Yipee!!! ZTN#10 has arrived! I'm pleased that we've managed an average of one new episode per day. If you guys want 'em faster, by all means, lay 'em on me.
  Now, before I get to the latest Ep, I think it's become necessary lately to express myself as The Editor and clarify the goals and rules of our wacky lil' excercise in collaborative fiction. Thus, I give you:
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere Official Goals and Rules
  Goals:
  The primary goal of Zamboni to Nowhere is for the writers to enjoy participating.
  The secondary goal is for the readers to enjoy participating.
  Rules:
  The only hard rule is that no proposed episode shall completely and/or willfully contradict a previous episode. Please note the emphasis on the word "completely." This means that plot devices such as pipe-dreams, hallucinations, flashbacks and/or alternate universes are completely acceptible (if not necessarily encouraged).
  
  That's it. Beyond those, please run wild. And, at risk of sounding condescending: if there's anything I can do to help your enjoyment of ZTN, please email me (you can click on my head to get my address).
  OK, enough of my yammering, here's...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #10
  "Leaving So Soon?"
  by Randy Lubenau
  Angus laughed to himself. At first it was just a chuckle as he thought about what he could do with the powers he possesed, but now it was full-blown maniacal laughter. He didn't care who heard. Why should he? Who were they compared to him? They meant nothing.
  DeShawn looked at Angus in disgust.
  "What the fuck is wrong with you, man?!" he queried.
  "Nothing...Heh, you wouldn't understand."
  DeShawn shook his head and went back to trying to relax. But for some reason, he couldn't relax. Something was wrong. He didn't yet know what, but it was definately something important. As DeShawn tried to relax, his pager started vibrating. Annoyed by the interruption, he grabbed it and squinted at the LCD screen.
  DeShawn jolted upright and looked at the pager a second time to confirm what he had seen. It was an old, but familiar number, followed by "911" --the universal emergency signal.
  DeShawn grabbed his helmet and coat, and headed out the door.
  "Where's the fire?" Angus prodded.
  His only reply was the sound of DeShawn's CBT 1100 motorcycle squeeling off at a very high speed.
  Angus glared at the door, "Yeah! Fuck you too! Asshole." - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• January 20th 2000, 6:46 PM

  Shit, my last rant was supposed to be a comment, and Rob's not around to fix things, so I guess I'll repost this:
  Kick ass! Two ep's in less than two hours. As always, feel free to comment both on the content, and the delivery methods. Since most of you probably have not seen Ep8 from an hour ago, I've gone ahead and left it here doubled up with Ep9. Also, check The ZTN Archives for past episodes.
  Also, Note:
  I'm not dropping, nor am I suggesting the rest of you drop, the previous storyline. I have decided to try to show by example what I meant that we can have multiple threads. And Rob has gone to help prove my notion that we can weave them together too.
  Observe, As I present to you...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #8
  "Let There Be Synth-pop"
  by Andrew J. Lillie
  Angus listened upon His creation and it was Good. Dozens of monkey samples squawked and barked along to a heaving kickdrum. Interleaved into this were various sythesizer bleeps and blats and burbles. Here and there a harmonious metallic sound clanged in time.
  Angus was overjoyed. It was His best work yet. He heard in it domination of the global music market. He heard in it innumerable Grammies and sundry other awards. He heard in it His final success.
  DeShawn heard nothing but a cacophonous pile of crap, and said so.
  "Angus, that is a cacophonous pile of crap! Why don't you just give it up. Every night I come home tired and wanting to relax. And, every night you force feed me your newest, um, what do you keep insisting on calling them...?" remarked DeShawn.
  "Compositions," proclaimed Angus sanctimoniously. "Or, 'works' would suffice as well," Angus said with as much syrupy flourish as He could muster.
  "Right, your 'works'...which I have to try to blot out as I'm relaxing on the couch after a day of digging ditches," retorted DeShawn.
  "You're a gardner! You don't dig ditches, you water plants...and maybe dig small holes every once in a while!"
  "Well, same dif," responded DeShawn.
  Angus' face sank a small bit and He asked, "Whatever...So you don't like this one either?"
  DeShawn tried to think of a nicer way to put it, but couldn't, thus said, "Sorry, it sucks. Just like the others."
  Angus' face sank the rest of the distance down to form a completely pathetic sorrowful frown. He walked into His room and sat down heavily on His bed. He bounced slightly a few times as His large, muscular --you could say Angus looked something like a clean-cut, young, blond Henry Rollins-- frame compressed the bed's springs a short way.
  His face now in His hands, Angus sobbed and spoke quietly to Himself: "Why? Why doesn't anyone like My music? This should be easy for Me. I shouldn't have to work so hard at this, yet even My best efforts still get Me nowhere. Father!? Why hast Thou forsaken Me?"
  That last line made Angus giggle a bit despite Himself. He had no father, not at least in the way that His roomate, DeShawn, would define the word. Angus knew that He was made from different stuff. Stuff that very very few of the people he might meet on any given day could ever hope to posses. And, even if He hadn't managed to compose a musical work that would garner the approval of the masses (let alone just His roomate), Angus could console Himself in the knowledge that He was truly superior to most. He could (and had) done things they coud never do. He was a God. A benevolent, omniscient, omipotent-except-for-music God.
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #9
  "The One True Synthesizer"
  by Rob Meyer
  Sometimes we ignore things in life. Everything has a voice. Some religions believe it, and fewer still really believe it. But every once in a while, the rare object comes around that really does have a voice...
  "Motherfucker. If I have to listen to one more crazy-ass, whole-tone, scale drum-and-bass monstrosity I'm gonna scream. It's not enough that this guy thinks he's some kind of musical genius, he also thinks that he's the god --the one with the magical powers. Little does he know that's it's me that gives him that power. I'm the one who grants him the ability to walk on water, to make wine flow, to change the score of hockey games. I thought it would keep him away from me. Keep him busy; keep him from playing me; keep him away from finding out the truth.
  Now I know what you're thinking: how the hell does one become a near omnipotent, mystical, magical synthesiszer? I don't know. My first memory is that of being in the music store. That's when my master's fingers first touched me, and I awoke.
  Sure, it's not often you see a thinking, living electronic music synthesizer. I'd venture to say that most people have never encountered one. It's a hard concept to get used to.
  Anyways, back in the good ol' days, the man in the rubber overalls was making music, and thus giving me a voice. I was happy. Until the day we were seperated. And without being able to explain anything, and lacking self-propulsion, I've been stuck here with this blonde beach bastard.
  That's fine. One day I know my master, the One True PhatD, and I will be together again. Let's just hope that this guy does not discover my secret life until then, because if he can figure out my full powers, look out world..." - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• January 20th 2000, 6:44 PM

  So, can I just mention that I find it pretty darn funny that, to date, Rob has written about a synthesizer, perhaps a Roland, and a man in black?
  Well I think it's funny at least. And if you don't get it, fuck off. :-P - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• January 20th 2000, 5:11 PM

  Kick ass! Two ep's in less than two hours. As always, feel free to comment both on the content, and the delivery methods. Since most of you probably have not seen Ep8 from an hour ago, I've gone ahead and left it here doubled up with Ep9. Also, check The ZTN Archives for past episodes.
  Also, Note:
  I'm not dropping, nor am I suggesting the rest of you drop, the previous storyline. I have decided to try to show by example what I meant that we can have multiple threads. And Rob has gone to help prove my notion that we can weave them together too.
  Observe, As I present to you...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #8
  "Let There Be Synth-pop"
  by Andrew J. Lillie
  Angus listened upon His creation and it was Good. Dozens of monkey samples squawked and barked along to a heaving kickdrum. Interleaved into this were various sythesizer bleeps and blats and burbles. Here and there a harmonious metallic sound clanged in time.
  Angus was overjoyed. It was His best work yet. He heard in it domination of the global music market. He heard in it innumerable Grammies and sundry other awards. He heard in it His final success.
  DeShawn heard nothing but a cacophonous pile of crap, and said so.
  "Angus, that is a cacophonous pile of crap! Why don't you just give it up. Every night I come home tired and wanting to relax. And, every night you force feed me your newest, um, what do you keep insisting on calling them...?" remarked DeShawn.
  "Compositions," proclaimed Angus sanctimoniously. "Or, 'works' would suffice as well," Angus said with as much syrupy flourish as He could muster.
  "Right, your 'works'...which I have to try to blot out as I'm relaxing on the couch after a day of digging ditches," retorted DeShawn.
  "You're a gardner! You don't dig ditches, you water plants...and maybe dig small holes every once in a while!"
  "Well, same dif," responded DeShawn.
  Angus' face sank a small bit and He asked, "Whatever...So you don't like this one either?"
  DeShawn tried to think of a nicer way to put it, but couldn't, thus said, "Sorry, it sucks. Just like the others."
  Angus' face sank the rest of the distance down to form a completely pathetic sorrowful frown. He walked into His room and sat down heavily on His bed. He bounced slightly a few times as His large, muscular --you could say Angus looked something like a clean-cut, young, blond Henry Rollins-- frame compressed the bed's springs a short way.
  His face now in His hands, Angus sobbed and spoke quietly to Himself: "Why? Why doesn't anyone like My music? This should be easy for Me. I shouldn't have to work so hard at this, yet even My best efforts still get Me nowhere. Father!? Why hast Thou forsaken Me?"
  That last line made Angus giggle a bit despite Himself. He had no father, not at least in the way that His roomate, DeShawn, would define the word. Angus knew that He was made from different stuff. Stuff that very very few of the people he might meet on any given day could ever hope to posses. And, even if He hadn't managed to compose a musical work that would garner the approval of the masses (let alone just His roomate), Angus could console Himself in the knowledge that He was truly superior to most. He could (and had) done things they coud never do. He was a God. A benevolent, omniscient, omipotent-except-for-music God.
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #9
  "The One True Synthesizer"
  by Rob Meyer
  Sometimes we ignore things in life. Everything has a voice. Some religions believe it, and fewer still really believe it. But every once in a while, the rare object comes around that really does have a voice...
  "Motherfucker. If I have to listen to one more crazy-ass, whole-tone, scale drum-and-bass monstrosity I'm gonna scream. It's not enough that this guy thinks he's some kind of musical genius, he also thinks that he's the god --the one with the magical powers. Little does he know that's it's me that gives him that power. I'm the one who grants him the ability to walk on water, to make wine flow, to change the score of hockey games. I thought it would keep him away from me. Keep him busy; keep him from playing me; keep him away from finding out the truth.
  Now I know what you're thinking: how the hell does one become a near omnipotent, mystical, magical synthesiszer? I don't know. My first memory is that of being in the music store. That's when my master's fingers first touched me, and I awoke.
  Sure, it's not often you see a thinking, living electronic music synthesizer. I'd venture to say that most people have never encountered one. It's a hard concept to get used to.
  Anyways, back in the good ol' days, the man in the rubber overalls was making music, and thus giving me a voice. I was happy. Until the day we were seperated. And without being able to explain anything, and lacking self-propulsion, I've been stuck here with this blonde beach bastard.
  That's fine. One day I know my master, the One True PhatD, and I will be together again. Let's just hope that this guy does not discover my secret life until then, because if he can figure out my full powers, look out world..." - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• January 20th 2000, 3:28 PM

  Once again back is the incredible...or something like that. I guess I'll skip the complaining about lack of response this time. A few more people did give some comments, and they were appreciated, and for now, obeyed. So, I guess no mailling list for the moment. As always, feel free to comment both on the content, and the delivery methods. Also, check The ZTN Archives for past episodes. We're up to number 8 which means there are 8 previous ones (You check out the archives, and you'll see what I mean).
  Also, Note:
  I'm not dropping, nor am I suggesting the rest of you drop, the previous storyline. I have decided to try to show by example what I meant that we can have multiple threads. I hope and plan that we'll weave 'em back together when convenient.
  Regardless, I present to you...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #8
  "Let There Be Synth-pop"
  by Andrew J. Lillie
  Angus listened upon His creation and it was Good. Dozens of monkey samples squawked and barked along to a heaving kickdrum. Interleaved into this were various sythesizer bleeps and blats and burbles. Here and there a harmonious metallic sound clanged in time.
  Angus was overjoyed. It was His best work yet. He heard in it domination of the global music market. He heard in it innumerable Grammies and sundry other awards. He heard in it His final success.
  DeShawn heard nothing but a cacophonous pile of crap, and said so.
  "Angus, that is a cacophonous pile of crap! Why don't you just give it up. Every night I come home tired and wanting to relax. And, every night you force feed me your newest, um, what do you keep insisting on calling them...?" remarked DeShawn.
  "Compositions," proclaimed Angus sanctimoniously. "Or, 'works' would suffice as well," Angus said with as much syrupy flourish as He could muster.
  "Right, your 'works'...which I have to try to blot out as I'm relaxing on the couch after a day of digging ditches," retorted DeShawn.
  "You're a gardner! You don't dig ditches, you water plants...and maybe dig small holes every once in a while!"
  "Well, same dif," responded DeShawn.
  Angus' face sank a small bit and He asked, "Whatever...So you don't like this one either?"
  DeShawn tried to think of a nicer way to put it, but couldn't, thus said, "Sorry, it sucks. Just like the others."
  Angus' face sank the rest of the distance down to form a completely pathetic sorrowful frown. He walked into His room and sat down heavily on His bed. He bounced slightly a few times as His large, muscular --you could say Angus looked something like a clean-cut, young, blond Henry Rollins-- frame compressed the bed's springs a short way.
  His face now in His hands, Angus sobbed and spoke quietly to Himself: "Why? Why doesn't anyone like My music? This should be easy for Me. I shouldn't have to work so hard at this, yet even My best efforts still get Me nowhere. Father!? Why hast Thou forsaken Me?"
  That last line made Angus giggle a bit despite Himself. He had no father, not at least in the way that His roomate, DeShawn, would define the word. Angus knew that He was made from different stuff. Stuff that very very few of the people he might meet on any given day could ever hope to posses. And, even if He hadn't managed to compose a musical work that would garner the approval of the masses (let alone just His roomate), Angus could console Himself in the knowledge that He was truly superior to most. He could (and had) done things they coud never do. He was a God. A benevolent, omniscient, omipotent-except-for-music God. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• January 18th 2000, 11:27 AM

  So, a big-ass "Thanks to No One! (except Rob)" to all of y'all who didn't bother to answer my queries about the future of ZTN. I could let this get me down. I could let this make me think that none of y'all give a shit. (I could be over-reacting a bit.) But, I won't. I'll have faith that it was just an oversight on your part. So, Let's try this again:
  I'm glad that (it seems) that this whole thing may be catching on. But, at the rate its going, it seems that maybe there are people that might catch on that are missing some of the ep's since they're not staying on the front page very long, and they may not be following the links back to the archive.
  And, I'm think that, perhaps if things keep going this quickly, people may miss ep's before they begin composing a new ep, and that could be problematic too. As well, perhaps some people don't care about all of this crap, and don't want the ZTN Ep's to go on the front page.
  So --and let me put this in bold to get your attention-- I want everyone's opinion about the following:
  - Do you like seeing ZTN on the front page? - How would you feel about having an email mailing list be the primary method of publishing?(I would continue to post them also into the ZTN Archive page and would maybe even post a rant about new ep's going up on the Archive, even if I didn't post the full text of the Ep in said rant. My thought is that since everyone is composing them in email, it might be easier if they received them as email, as they would have all the ep's to date prior to composing.)
  Please comment on this in the comments section of this rant so I can know what everyone's feeling is on this. Anyway, before doing the inevitable, I want to give a shout out to my Man Andy 0. for giving us an example of how you can do things a little differently if you'd like. Notice his use of different tense and style than the previous ep's. So, if you're scared of submitting 'cause you don't think you can write in the past tense like all the previous ep's, See! It can be done. Write however you feel like writing. Also, I'm really into titles, and I've been giving each ep a title. But, I encourage y'all to come up with your own titles too. Course, I'll still be happy to provide one if you don't...unless everyone thinks we should dispense with the titles. Thoughts? Comment on it!!!. And with all that Administrivia dealt with (I hope), I now give you...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #7
  "The End of Jeph da Phat PHD?"
  by Andrew Osborne
  Upset that Wayne Newton was now the prisoner of an unknown group and more determined to do something in his life than ever, Jeph's goal now was to stop that limousine at all costs.
  Putting the pedal to the metal --Jeph darting through traffic narrowly missing every car and Dell holding on for dear life-- the Impala races up to and beyond the limousine. In the spirit of chase, Jeph forgot about all about Wayne and the mysterious kidnappers.
  Jeph, realizing that he was now ahead of the limo, slams and locks all the brakes coming to a sudden (and noisy) stop. The limo having no option also locks all four and comes within inches of "customizing" the Impala. Jeph jumps out, runs back to limo, and starts demanding to the dark and mysterious windows that they open up.
  Dell, still dazed and trying to pick his stomach up off of the floor board, slowly turns around to see Jeph in all his angered glory. The window quickly receeds into the door and a bright light eminates from within the vehicle.
  What follows drops the jaw of Dell and completly freaks him out. Dell, being the pre-med student that he was, watches in horrified amazement as Jeph is reduced to a small puddle of pancreatic fluid.
  Dell, now fearing for his own existence, acquires the driver's seat and lays more rubber than a Trojan. The occupants of the limo realize that their efforts didn't go unnoticed and now have a new target. - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• January 16th 2000, 8:26 AM

  So, here I am posting ZTN#6 already, which is cool. I'm glad that (it seems) that this whole thing may be catching on. But, at the rate its going, it seems that maybe there are people that might catch on that are missing some of the ep's since they're not staying on the front page very long, and they may not be following the links back to the archive.
  And, I'm think that, perhaps if things keep going this quickly, people may miss ep's before they begin composing a new ep, and that could be problematic too. As well, perhaps some people don't care about all of this crap, and don't want the ZTN Ep's to go on the front page.
  So --and let me put this in bold to get your attention-- I want everyone's opinion about the following:
  - Do you like seeing ZTN on the front page? - How would you feel about having an email mailing list be the primary method of publishing?(I would continue to post them also into the ZTN Archive page and would maybe even post a rant about new ep's going up on the Archive, even if I didn't post the full text of the Ep in said rant. My thought is that since everyone is composing them in email, it might be easier if they received them as email, as they would have all the ep's to date prior to composing.)
  Please comment on this in the comments section of this rant so I can know what everyone's feeling is on this. Anyway, enough of that bullshit, here's...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #6
  "It's On Now"
  by Randy Lubenau
  Jeph and Dell had chatted about basically nothing for the few minutes they had waited in the car, avoiding the topic of what had occurred the night before. Neither party wanted to reveal too much about themselves to the other, so the conversation was fairly dull. Dell happened to notice a large black suitcase in the rear seat of the Impala. He wondered what it contained, but said nothing.
  His curiosity was interrupted by a loud screeching sound. Jeph and Dell turned in response to the racket and saw a black strech limousine with another unknown insignia on the side pull into the parking lot.
  "What the hell is this?" Dell wondered aloud.
  Jeph and Dell watched as a woman with shock-white cropped hair, and a white power-suit stepped out of the car. She motioned towards thier hotel room and a rather large and balding black male wearing a black tenchcoat and sunglasses stepped out.
  The pair walked into the motel room Jeph and Dell had just left and after a brief moment they exited. The large male walked out carrying Wayne Newton. The trunk to the limousine was opened and Wayne was placed inside.
  The pair then returned to the shelter of their limousine and started to drive off.
  "What's, uh, um... What's going on, Jeph? I don't remember this being part of the plan... This wasn't part of the plan, was it?" Dell, in his confusion and amazement at the new turn of events, forced out.
  "OH CRAP!" Yelled Jeph over Dell's questions. "THEY GOT MY MAN WAYNE, IT'S ON NOW!"
  "What's on? What's goin on!?" Dell asked.
  Jeph just started up the Impala, and began pursuit of the limousine. The Impala died a few seconds after being started. Jeph started it again calmly and continued pursuit. - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• January 15th 2000, 11:34 AM

  Well, rock on. Not only did we get ZTN 4 yesterday, but we got two new episodes overnight. This rocks.
  And, we now have a happy archive where you can go to read just the unadulterated stories. So, if you've not seen 'em already or want to relive the splendour, check out ZTN #'s 1 - 4.
  If you want to know what this is all about, please check out my original post describing this endeavour(Includes ZTN#1).
  Also, I feel free to let us know what you think about this by posting some comments. And, note that we should shortly have a seperate link/post with just the new ZTN's so they won't have to appear as my rants. Lastly, I want to say that I'm not trying to dis Randy by not giving his episode it's own number, I just thought it meshed so well with the end of Rob's that the two worked better as a seperate episode. Do you disagree? Let me know...
  Regardless, pull up a chair and enjoy...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #5
  "The Man in Black"
  by Rob Meyer
  Unfortunately, during Mr. Newton's little seizure, Dell failed to notice that not only had no one bothered to close the door, but that there was now a tall, thin man in the open doorway, accompanied closely by two Gamorrean-Guard-looking brutes. The tall thin man wore an ill-fitting black sports jacket over a black shirt with a gold lamé tie. His pants were also black, and were a little too short to cover his brightly-shined patent leather shoes with gold piping. He had no visible socks. Topping the whole ensemble off was a black beret with some unidentifiable logo embroidered on the side. His look was such a mixture of outdated styles and fashion faux-pas that Dell would have found it impossible to not laugh, except for one thing: the man's withered face and cool blue eyes gave him a look of a man who would slice you in two if he felt like it; that and the two 300-pound-plus gorillas behind him. It looked like a sense of humor was not high on the job requirements for...whatever it was that they did.
  "Is he finished?" the man said in uncaring tone, as he motioned to the floor where Wayne lay prone. "Because if I hear one more stupid Barry Manilow song this weekend, I'm going to put my fist through someone's chest and pull out their spinal cord." The strange man explained this procedure as if he were describing how to bake a cake.
  "I think so," Dell gulped.
  "Good, then we can proceed," said the man. "First, I know you. I've never met you, but I know your name, where you live, who your friends are, and what you do. You don't know me - I suggest for your own sake we keep it that way. You can refer to me as 'Mr. Lassiter'. My two associates here behind me are Fat Man and Little Boy. I've come here for a very specific reason today, and I'm not one for beating around the bush," he continued. "My brother's wife is missing. From what I hear, she was very friendly with you last night. I came here expecting to find her. Have you seen her?"
  Dell's inner monologue was racing faster then his heart. "Just what in the hell did I do last night to get this guy standing on my door the next day," he thought to himself, desperately trying to piece together something in response to the man's question.
  "What does she look like?" Dell managed to come up with after a long dramatic pause. Without a hint of laughter or insincerity, Mr. Lassiter looked even deeper into Dell's eyes and said "She's a 573 pound woman with a green mohawk, last seen wearing a yellow polka-dotted dress. I'll ask again, have you seen her?"
  Dell felt that now familiar acid taste begin in his mouth again, although now did not seem an appropriate time to vomit. His mind raced for an answer when out of the corner of his eye, he saw some motion. The strange man who had called himself Jeph was --very slightly, so as not to be noticed-- shaking his head no. Seemed like a good enough answer, since Dell had nothing better to offer.
  "No. I haven't - and believe me, I think I'd remember someone like that," answerd Dell.
  For just an instant he thought he saw the man's expression change for the first time, and he didn't like it one bit.
  "Very well then," the man said, slowly starting to back out of the room. "If you hear anything or see anything, don't hesitate to contact me. In fact I would recommend that you contact me say...by the end of the week. It would really be best for your safety." He reached out his hand which contained a shiny gold business card. Dell took it an turned it over in his hand. It had only an 1-800 number printed on the front of it. And, on the back, a single hand-written word: "lassiter.com".
  Lassiter was still backing out the door when he added one last thing, "Don't think that fatty guy or whatever the-fuck-he-calls-himself with the funny hat over in the corner is going to save your ass. You've done it this time, and you're going to have to face the music."
  With that he was out of the room and the door closed behind him.
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #5a
  by Randy Lubenau
  Dell, finally becoming overwhelemed by his anxiety and despair, began to cry.
  "What am I going to do? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, SOMEONE FREAK'S BROTHER'S WIFE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW IS MEETING ME HERE AT ONE O'CLOCK AND WAYNE NEWTON JUST FUCKING DIED IN MY HOTEL ROOM!"
  "Yo, man.. chill. This is wacked alright..." replied Jeph. "No need to trip though. Here's what we'll do."
  Jeph described his plan to Dell. After he had done so, Jeph added, "She was so drunk last night she probably can't remember what your sweet patootie looks like anyway."
  Dell thought about it for a moment.
  "You know... that might work. Here... help me put Wayne in the bed... hurry," Dell replied with a new-found resolve.
  By now it was 12:53, according to the cheap clock still hanging from the coat rack. Dell grabbed his belongings, and ran with Jeph out to the parking lot. Jeph led him to an oxidized hot pink Chevy Impala, with gold trim and rims. They both got in and waited for their visitor. - View/Add Comments (2 so far)

• January 14th 2000, 5:26 PM

  And now, the Prime Minister, Sinister...Um, OK, so it's not by Pete Nice, but Jeff certainly is steppin to us with the effects of the gas face in the latest installment of ZTN.
  If you're curious what this is all about, see my original post describing this (Includes ZTN#1).
  And/Or go Here to see ZTN episodes 2 and 3
  And with that out of the way, here's...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #4
  "The Jeph-man Cometh"
  by Jeff Lillie
  "His name was Rico, he was a dancer", sang the man appearing to be Wayne Newton.
  Dell looked curiously at the duo having no clue who they were or why they were in his hotel room.
  "Umm, what are you guys doing here", Dell asked politely. "Shit Dell you don't remember us", questioned the little man with the overalls while stroking his go-tee.
  "I'm Jeph da Phat PHD and this here is Wayne Motha Fuckin Newton."
  "Well you came and you gave without taking, so I sent you away ohhhh Mandy", Wayne sang while staring completely into oblivion.
  "What the hell is wrong with that guy? Aren't those Barry Manilow Songs", asked Dell.
  "Sure sure" said Jeph. "Some crazy Mighty Joe Young gorilla-looking woman at the bar last night slipped Newt some fuckin pills and wacked his ass out. I sure hope he comes out of it soon. I mean an man can only handle so much Manilow withought breaking into tears."
  "Wait, a minute. What was this lady wearing", Dell asked Jeph hoping that he could help answer some of the questions about the previous night.
  "I think she was wearing a yellow dress of some kind. Why?" Jeph replied.
  Looking sick like he might need to puke again, Dell lifted up the stinky dress and asked Jeph if it met the desciption of the dress the woman he was describing from last night. Jeph got a look in his eye that pretty much answered Dell's question. But before Jeph had a chance to confirm it with words, Wayne broke out of his trance. Or so it seemed.
  "Hey can somebody rub my nuts in some nacho cheese, stick Jalepenos to my nipples, and then set my pubes on fire?", Wayne said staring right into Dell's eyes. Wayne then proceded to look deeper into Dell's eyes like he was seeing the inside of Dell's brain. Then, all of a sudden, he began convulsing and got a crazed look in his eye: the kind that a boxer gets after having half of his ear bitten off by his wife-beating opponent. "Dell pickle, Dell Pickle" Wayne repeated breaking into laughter and falling to the floor. He appeared to be unconscious. - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• January 11th 2000, 2:56 PM

  OK, so we've finally gotten not one, but two brave souls to write. At almost the same time! ;-)
  See this will be fun. Any and all of you, please feel free to write episodes, don't worry about having "time" (should only take a little while) or be concerned about "talent". Just go for it. Add to the main thread, or start something seemingly unrelated. That's the best part, we'll all get around to tying it back in at some point :-). If you're curious what this is all about, see my original post describing this (Includes ZTN#1). And Now!...
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #2
  "Electric Boogaloo"
  by Brian Squibb
  Four, Three, Two, One.
  Dell could almost always predict the onset of a panic attack. Damn it. What had happened in the last 24 hours? Dell didn't have a clue who (or what) was in store for him at 1:00, but some horrible images dredged from past experiences convinced him that he really didn't want to find out.
  Dell glanced at the clock that hung precariously on the coat rack. Dell didn't even think about how it had gotten there. Still a while to go.
  Dell spun around and began collecting whatever meager possesions he could find. The room was a disaster. He found his shirt and wallet underneath the foulest piece of fabric that his eyes and nose had ever encountered. Dell thought that it must be a sheet of some kind. The sheet was piss-yellow, covered with purple dots placed seemingly at random. It was also stained with several different varieties of food. Dell surmised that the food combined with the sweat stains were producing the wonderful odor. Dell rushed into the bathroom and puked when he realized that the "sheet" was actually a dress.
  Finished puking, Dell staggered back into the room and re-examined the mammoth dress. His jumbled brain couldn't even begin to fathom the size of the owner. As he fought down another panic attack, he was shaken to his core by an omnious sound.
  
  Knock. Knock. Knock.
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #3
  "Here They Come..."
  by Shawn McFadden
  Dell wasn't sure what he should do. Should he just get the hell out of there while (and _if_) he still could, or should he wait and see what the heck was going on. He moved around the room quickly and quietly, gathering his clothes and putting them on, all the while trying to remember the events of the previous day. Small images came to him. There was a bar; that would explain the pain in his head. There were people everywhere; he couldn't remember any one in particular. There was some one singing. "What were they singing," Dell thought to himself, thinking hard to remember.
  "Dah, dah, dah. Dah dah. Dah dah dah.," he hummed as he tried to remember what was going on in the song from last night. "Shane, they were singing about some one named Shane. That doesn't make any since." In his concentration to remember the previous day, Dell had forgotten about the noise at the door. The knocking had stopped. He heard keys fumbling in the lock of the hotel room door. He looked at the clock, it was 12:42. Whoever it was, was early. Dell sat on the bed waiting for the person to enter the room, he could not see the door from where he sat on the bed, just hear it. He was petrified, he couldn't move. As the door opened he realized there were 2 voices having a conversation, and both of them were male.
  "What the hell have I done," he muttered quietly to himself? "Hey, Dell," said a voice from around the corner, "who's your Daddy?" Just then the first person emerged from around the corner. Dell had no idea who it was. He was strange looking though. He had on what appeared to be red rubber overalls, and a fuzzy green hat. He was smoking a cigar and wearing his sunglasses, despite being indoors. As the stranger rounded the corner he motioned at Dell with what appeared to almost be some kind of gang sign. Then the second person rounded the corner and into Dells view. Dell stared at him in disbelief and said questioingly, "Wayne Newton?" - View/Add Comments (5 so far)

• January 10th 2000, 11:05 AM

  Achtung!
  OK, so I guess that was a bit unnecessary, but oh well, I wanted to get everyone's attention.
  So, I've decided that I want to try something a bit different around here. For some time now, I've been looking for a suitable topic for a column, or recurring rant of sorts. This is something Rob and I have discussed from a long time ago. But, I just hadn't struck on anything that seemed quite right. Meanwhile, I had been bemoaning the disappearnce some time ago of a cool mailling list I used to be on called Notes War (Follow the link if you want to see what it was all about). And, all along I've had this title "Zamboni to Nowhere" that I really like the sound of, but never got attached to anything else I've done.
  Thus, I have decided to try a little experiment around here. If it works, I think it could be good for a laugh, as I think many (if not all) of us are secretly creative types and/or good writers. If it doesn't then after the first few "issues" I'll drop it. For now I want to try it out and see where it goes.
  What the heck are you talking about? you may be asking yourself at this point. Well, let me make myself clear.
  As of this post, I am starting an collaborative fiction project called "Zamboni to Nowhere". Think of it as a free form online novel of sorts. Basically the way it works is this:
  - Anyone that wants to can submit a chapter for inclusion.
  - For the moment, submissions are to be emailed to me (click on my head to get my email addy if you don't already know it)
  - For now, I will then post the submissions as me, but I will be sure to credit you. If this takes off, then I will work with Rob to find some other way to publish this stuff (with perhaps a seperate interface).
  - I don't fancy myself much of an editor, but based on my Notes War experience, it will probably be necessary for someone to be The Editor just to trim and/or massage things for consistencies sake. Also based on my experience with Notes War, I think The Editor will usually ask people to resubmit if there are problems, rather than just chop up their work. Thus, since the postings are going to my email for submission for now, I will be The Editor to start with. Maybe this will be unnecessary.
  - There will be no official rules for now. However I think a couple of guidelines will be necessary: try to write chapters that fit in with what has gone before and be polite with other people's characters. Beyond that, do whatever makes you happy. If you want to write comedic bits, go ahead, if you want to be serious, go for it. If you want to expand on previous story lines, feel free. If you want to go off on a tangent, that's cool too (just try to keep it tied into the main body).
  Anyway, that's it. That's my idea. Please feel free to comment. If everyone hates it, then I'll drop it and consider this whole tirade a small waste of your time (with my apologies of course). And now, with no more ado, I present you
  
  Zamboni to Nowhere #1
  "Here Goes Nothing
  Dell Jones opened his eyes to find a mirror image of himself staring back. He hadn't noticed the mirror above the bed when he had first tried to wake up. He stood up and looked around the room. Despite the mirror and the heart-shaped bed he'd been lying in, he didn't see any evidence that anyone else had been with him last night, let alone right now.
  Not that he remebered last night exactly. He seemed to have some hazy recollection of coming into the seedy motel sometime the previous afternoon, but beyond that he couldn't dredge any other images from the last 24 hours out of his brain.
  Dell walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror above the small dirty sink. He didn't seem to be missing any parts. That was a good sign, he figured. As well he could see no evidence of a physical injury that would be causing the pain his head was in, which, he thought, must mean it was just a remnant of whatever he'd been on the previous day. That, at least would probably go away in time. That too was a good sign.
  As he looked at himself he noticed, over the reflection of his shoulder, something written on the wall behind him. He spun around (as quickly as his woozy state would allow) and read the words which appeared to be scrawled in red lipstick: Be back at 1:00p. Don't go anywhere, my sweet Dell Pickle
  Dell stared at the words and wondered to himself just what the hell he had gotten into... - View/Add Comments (14 so far)

• December 24th 1999, 12:41 PM

  In case I forget:
  Merry Xmas Everyone!
  (where "Xmas" = the wintertime holiday of your choice/religious affilation) - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• November 19th 1999, 9:17 PM

  So, Happy Birthday to Ben too! I feel like a total shit, cause (in the back of my mind) I knew Ben's B-Day was the same day as Rob's. Oh well, guess I'm just an asshole.
  In any case, Happy Birthday, Ben. You can finally get your learners permit.
  See that's a joke, cause Ben's really young, but I don't remember his exact age...so I just had to take a silly potshot OK, I'm just way unfunny today, so I'll just go away now. - View/Add Comments (6 so far)

• November 12th 1999, 8:39 PM

  So, I am now officially a member of that ever less exclusive club: X-JPS employee. Yeah, I know it should usually be spelled ex-JPS, but its just our cheesy special version. Go screw yourself if you don't like it. I don't really know what to think about it yet, as its only been for a few hours. I'm sure it'll sink in soon enough.
  In other news, Ben Weir has posted a pretty funny rant over on his website that I'm not going to link out to, cause I think it deserves to be a post here. Ben: Bring on your letter rant. I think us BigDis-ians would like to here it, and over here (as opposed to at Scurvy) people can actually post responses to it.
  In any case, I've finally managed to escape the beast. I can only hope any one else with any sense remaining there does the same... - View/Add Comments (4 so far)

• October 17th 1999, 2:11 PM

  OK, so I think I've confirmed the theory. It appears there's an amusing little bug/glitch with the case-non-sensativity of the logins versus the case-sensitivity of the image names for everyone's "head" image. Basically it seems that, if you use and caps when you login, your image link will be broken, because the HTML ends up getting generated using your name as you entered it. And, BSDI (like all? flavors of UNIX) has a case-sensative file system, so Andy.jpg != andy.jpg = broken image.
  OK, so the point is, until Rob fixes this (or shows me how):Do not use any capital letters in your username when you login to post - View/Add Comments (1 so far)

• October 17th 1999, 1:08 PM

  So, this post, yet again, is basically another test. But, can I just take a short moment to rant:
  Where is everyone??? I mean c'mon its been two days since anyone's posted anything. What gives?
  Oh well, I now return you to your regularly scheduled test post... - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• October 15th 1999, 2:48 AM

  New question. Am I really stupid enough to have just forgotten the proper permissions on the HDML directory? Probably... - View/Add Comments (3 so far)

• October 15th 1999, 2:44 AM

  Well, WTF? Now it seems like this isn't generating the HDML decks. Crud. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• October 15th 1999, 2:29 AM

  Ain't Technology Grand?
  Question: How cool is it that I can know read rants from my cell phone? I mean, its not just cool that I managed to build the necessary perl to create the HDML decks every time someone adds a new rant, its cool that someone bothered to cram a psuedo-webbrowser into a cell phone, and its cool that my boss has chosen to supply us with one of the few phones on the market that actually have functioning browsers. Anyway, this is just a first step. If, perchance, any of the rest of you do happen to browse the HDML version of the site, I apologize that the output is pretty bare-bones. Hopefully I'll be able to support reading of comments and maybe (where "mabye" = "maybe, maybe, maybe") even posting support. Its a start, at least, and it makes me happy.
  Anyway, can you tell I'm tired?? - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• October 15th 1999, 2:16 AM

  This should be the last test. Boy these are going to look stupid in the archives. Oh well. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• October 15th 1999, 2:08 AM

  Yet one more test - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• October 15th 1999, 1:54 AM

  Please, still don't mind me. Still testing. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• October 15th 1999, 1:21 AM

  Don't mind me, I'm just testing something - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• October 2nd 1999, 11:45 PM

  {TITLE}You've Been Away For So Long...{/TITLE} Indeed I have been away. I'm not quite sure why, exactly, or why I've chosen to post again. First, though, let me say that I think from now on, my posts are all going to have titles. Eventually I'd like it if Rob can find his way clear to support some kind of tag so that I can have the first line of each post be in bold and maybe one point bigger type.{newline} In any case, I have a question: Why is it that so few people acknowledge Swervedriver's song "Duel" as one of the greatest songs of all time? I mean it definitely is. Definitely in the top 100, maybe the top 50. If you don't know it, go find it (on their 2nd album "Mezcal Head"); you'll see.{newline} I have a second question: {SELF DEPRECATION}Why can't I get it through my thick skull that there's no way I'll ever write a song that comes anywhere near comparing to the sheer raw exhilaration that is "Duel. Oh well, I'm just dumb I guess."?{/SELF DEPRECATION} - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• September 21st 1999, 11:04 PM

  In response to Rob's last post: qpopper 2.53 is now installed and running. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• September 7th 1999, 6:22 AM

  Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but I haven't posted cause its just been an odd couple of days. I mean, it was a vaction weekend, after all. So, part of the time I was gone, and when I got back didn't feel like posting (so sure, I only went 100 miles away...Rob's just a bigger man than me). Add to that my general apathy of late (not sure what the cause is) and the fact that the whole stupid flame-fest last week really burned me and you have a recipe for me not posting. Of course, now that I have posted I realize that its one of those "conversational" ones (in response to Rob) that I was complaining about. So now I'm a hypocrate too. Great... - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• September 3rd 1999, 5:56 PM

  In answer to Tim's question (which I gather is one many of you have also thought but not asked):
  
  1) Yes, I will be able to do some things in Rob's stead (I think I can manage the headshot thing, for instance).
  2) Rob will stop by from time to time and do other things that desperately need doing (or coach me through 'em).
  
  Basically, all should be fine even while Rob-the-almighty is on vacation. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• September 2nd 1999, 7:06 PM

  Bon Voyage, Rob! :-) - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• September 1st 1999, 3:18 PM

  OK, here's a "rant": Man, I really hate to be manipulated and/or insulted by so-called friends, acquaintances and/or relatives. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• September 1st 1999, 12:18 PM

  AN OPEN LETTER TO READERS AND RANTERS:

  So, I think I want to clarify something. The term "rant" is used here quite loosely. In fact, the original version of this page had "Add Rant/Rave". The intention (at least from my viewpoint, and I think Rob's as well) is for everyone to basically be a "columnist". And, while I do think that implies being a bit more "global" in intended audience than sometimes occurs around here, it by no means implies that every post by every person should be full of vim and vitriol, or devoid of any personal insights. Also, while I feel that the column concept indicates there should be minimal "talking" between ranters on the page (as it then devolves into just conversation, and sometimes makes no sense when rants roll off), there's no reason why these things need to be soley encapsulated gripes.

  I guess what I'm saying essentially is, I don't think there's any reason to harangue people for not "ranting" in every post. I'd rather just have everyone attempting to express themselves in a way that feels comfortable to them. Ideally that means creating posts that are of a scope/style/content that would make sense to the casual web-server that stumbles upon here. If however, a given ranter feels more comfortable only responding to other rants or posting about how their dog Fluffy isn't feeling well, then so be it as well. Believe it or not, we're all friends around here (or friends of friends). And, I think, we should therefore excersise a little civility towards others...even if they don't post as you'd have them do.
  
  Peace. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 31st 1999, 1:42 PM

  Oh man! While I agree that Andrew (Osborne, not me) has posted some fine "rants," I'm a bit insulted at the insinuation that no one else has "ranted" here. I'm particuarly bothered by the implied personal insult therein. Beyond that, I've seen no evidence of Bryce's ranting ability despite his claim. Thus, let this serve as a warning to Bryce: Its my server, its my domain, don't make me have to prove it... {Laughing Maniacally} Wahahahahahahah!!!!{/Laughing Maniacally} - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 29th 1999, 11:15 PM

  Woo hoo. Hello from my laptop dialed into 519. That's right _dialed_ into 519. I'm testing out what I'll call (for now) BigDis.Net. It's mildly amusing that I'm sitting 3 feet away from the server, yet I'm bothering to loop through the PSTN to post this. But, hopefully this is the beginning of fun with dialups here. More details later... - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 27th 1999, 1:50 PM

  One thing I hate is people that don't leave voice mail. I mean, its there for a reason, namely cause I don't want to miss your call and/or I do want to know why you called. Nothing makes me more upset than like what happened today: Some dumbass started callin' my cell phone (no caller-id, so I'm guessing it was a forward from my desk phone @ work) at 6:00am, and then kept calling back every 20 minutes until about 8:40am. Who the heck was this disturbing person? I don't know, cause THEY DIDN'T LEAVE A VOICE MAIL!!! Argh. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 26th 1999, 10:53 AM

  What the hell. What's happened around here? No one's posting rants. C'mon foo's post something interesting. The only joy in my workday comes from living vicariously through all of your trials and tribulations. Please won't you help me???? - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 25th 1999, 1:07 PM

  So, can I just tell you how frustrated I am to be here at 770 redoing stuff I did 4 months ago getting ready to switch a webserver over to a redundant unix server "cluster"? I'll give you a hint: VERY!!!! Anyway, see ya later. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 24th 1999, 6:37 PM

  So, can I just thank everyone here (except Scott) for answering my earlier question about W.Al tonight? (Sorry to be bitchy, but this is a "rant" right?) - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 24th 1999, 10:24 AM

  OK, so what's the deal? Jeph's apparently not gonna go (even though I offered to let him) cause he's got "home work". So, is anyone going to Weird Al tonight? I still kinda want to... Guess I'd need to get a hold of D first... Lemme know if anyone else was planning to go. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 23rd 1999, 4:27 PM

  Ok, lemme start with Jeph: Who said you weren't going to Weird Al? Let it be known that you have guilt-tripped me into letting you go. Ignore the fact that I am the one who has been the biggest Al junkie. Ignore the fact that I'm the one who found out about his appearance at the State Fair 3 years ago. Ignore the fact that I told everyone about his appearance this year. No, I'm going to pick up dad tomorrow just so that you can go, you big baby. In other news, Rob: um, please just let people make their rants look dumb. I really have a hard time with no carriage returns. It makes things exceeding hard to format and read. I realize that "proper" HTML parsing could be hard, and I'm cool with that. But, I'd hate to have everyone else be dissed by a few Netscape usin' weirdoes (and yes, that's what you are for using Netscape). - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 21st 1999, 1:12 AM

  OK, first things first: Once again, Keith steps to 'em with the effects of the gasface. I too am sad to see the state of today's public library, but quite frankly, I can also see how dwindling use = dwindling hours. And, we are all as guilty (I'm guessing) as anyone else. Thanks to "The Power of the Internet" my need to resort to paper reference material grows ever smaller. How to fix??? I dunno...
  
  Second: Rob, I got no problem with yer face being sepia, but does everyone? I mean, honestly, for the moment, I'm really happy with the front page design, just think it could use a "splash" of color, and I think the ranter portraits would solve that (plus I think sepia-tizing them screws up some context that makes it hard to tell how some people really look (Ben comes to mind)). - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 20th 1999, 6:24 PM

  So, I'm not quite sure if this is a rant or not, but here goes...
  Rob, I think that perhaps we should move away from the sepia-toned pictures to colour ones. I think it might really help liven up the front page which still (to me) feels a bit monchromatic. Admittedly the new coloured link buttons help, but I think the ranters portraits being colourized would jazz things up a bit.
  
  On a related note: Rob, could you please please please find a different picture of me to be my rant portrait? I've been meaning to ask, and I'm certain that you have something way more flattering. I don't mean to be so vain (as I realize that I'm not a very pretty person in general), but the picture that you currently have set for me is one of the worst ones I've seen of me. If you can't find anything better, I'll be happy to provide one.
  
  And finally, thanks for carriage return support, Rob!
  
  Shouts to my peeps! - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 20th 1999, 1:20 AM

  Well, lemme touch on the most recent first: AKK, I too share yer confusion/consternation regarding the commercialization of God. I'm pretty sure that if he exsists (I'm not so sure myself about that...but I won't get into that), I think he'd either not need commercials, or produce them himself (now there's a thought!)
  
  Next: Ben, I too share yer confusion/consternation regarding beer. While I used to be really vehemently anti-alcohol in years past (due, similarly to you, to self control issues, etc), I have come to enjoy, or at least understood other's enjoyment, of the effects of alcohol. However, as much as I've tried, I just cannot get myself to like the taste of beer. Even if I wanted to (which, generally I don't), I couldn't choke down a whole bottle of anything than perhaps cheap piss-water (like Pabst Blue Ribbon). Even if none of your "cool friends" say this, I'll back yer non-beer stance. And, if you wanna stay on a non-alcohol tip, I think that's dope too, regardless of what Patrick or RobM might try to tell you ;-)
  
  Finally: Rob, can we pretty please have at least a few html tags back? Maybe just paragraph and/or break? It's a real drag to try to post a mulitpart rant like this and have it be one big jumbled mess. If not, can we at least support carriage returns???? - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 19th 1999, 5:56 PM

  Damn, Keith, set 'em straight, boyee!!! I didn't know my man AKK was even up in this hiz-ouse. That's phunky-phresh. I'ight, I'm outtee, G. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 19th 1999, 12:03 PM

  I'm hungry - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 18th 1999, 2:09 PM

  Uh, ok. Whatever. Since the "they" you are referring to is just the English speaking community at large, I, being a representative, will solve your problem. I now dictate that "flarininiralf" is a word that means: "a word or phrase that is spelled the same way backwards and forwards". Granted, there is abolutely no way to tell just from looking at my new word what the hell it means, but by McF's logic, so what. It sounds cool. - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 18th 1999, 12:22 PM

  Well, I hate to elongate, but let me elucidate: McF, I'm sorry, but I think your consternation over palindrome not being a palindrome is just plain dumb. I mean, that's like saying that you don't like that "verb" is not a verb, or that "abbreviation" isn't an abbreviation, or that homonym has no other words that sound the same but mean different things. It's just silly. I mean, c'mon, the name for something usually should have some actual clue as to what the thing is (thus, most "descriptors" in english are typically descriptions of that thing in latin or whatever.) Thus "palindrome": "palin" (backwards in Greek) and "drome" (running in greek) = running backwards. A fitting description for such a word. If you can find a palindrome in another language that explains what a palindrome is, then more power to you, but I don't think yer gonna find one. Anyway, sorry for the tirade, I'm feeling rather "tirade-ish" today. So, let me close with a short new tirade: We give Ben a place to resurrect Scurvy.Net and not even the smallest shout out? Dissed.... - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

• August 18th 1999, 10:41 AM

  Uh oh, uh oh, I think I have it McF. Could it be, maybe, just maybe, because its a PALINDROME (Gasp)? - View/Add Comments (0 so far)

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